We discussed her deepest fears, the ones her brain would spiral around and around, filling her with dread. We greeted each fear, and Sarah learned to question the fear’s intent.
Some fears were irrational, like “My family doesn’t love me anymore.” Sarah knew this was not true because she and her husband had a deep, loving connection and a great relationship with their two children.
As we questioned her fears, Sarah realized that they came from her family when she was growing up. Her parents consistently gave her feedback that she was not good enough. Sarah was still trying to live up to their impossible expectations.
Other fears were rational, like constantly hitting a zero balance before each paycheck. For these kinds of fears, we discussed strategies to reduce the constant worries. Ultimately, Sarah decided it was time to work with a financial planner.
We discussed fear of the unknown and being okay when the future is unclear. Sarah learned that when her thoughts started swirling into negativity about the future, she could return to the present by finding her body and the room around her and telling herself that the future is unknowable and anything can happen. She worked to shift her thoughts from the worst outcomes to the best results.
Sarah realized in this process that she was always preparing for the worst because it was often that way while growing up. Her mom had anxiety and always focused on the worst possible outcome. She didn’t need to be attached to that anymore because it was not helpful and robbed her of joy.
